but

when i saw you first
you were eighteen and unrealistic
but unrealistic is a
right
at eighteen

and i watched you grow and
watched you waver
but you always made it home
okay
and to me
that meant
you were making it home okay

one morning i asked her
if there was
ever
anything that made her
want to get out
of bed in the morning
and she said
‘no’.
I wished
it was different.
I wished it
were
different.
I wish I was different.

and i probably should have known you were
okay then
but
sometimes i am blind
to that which is directly
before me

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